Sunday, January 11, 2009


Some dogs name themselves. You look at them and it’s somehow obvious. My first Miniature Schnauzer, Rudy, had his name within 2 hours of coming home. The name not only stuck, it defined an era of rude behavior. What was the cause? His puppy mill background? Or was his name to blame? Either way, the next time and the next dog were going to be different.

So I found a highly reputable breeder, ponied up top dollar, and purchased a DNA tested- “breed standard”/qualified to show Miniature Schnauzer female puppy. And now all I had to do was come up with the perfect name.

Annabelle. Collette. Fiona. Tammy. Marge.
No. No. No. Bad. Wrong.

This wasn’t as easy as I thought. I mean, I do this for a living. Naming products. Creating brands. Naming puppies. C'mon!

After a week or so she became known as “Little What’s Her Name”. I was stumped. Then it came to me: Craig!

“Name this puppy and I’ll buy you a beer.” I posted that afternoon on the Craigslist, under the personals section. Who knows what might come of it.

There was no shortage of cutesy:
“Trixie”. “Piper”. “Maxie”. “Roxanne”. It’s good to get the obvious ones out of the way.

Gangstas were in the house with “Greenbacks”, “Lexus”, and “Dollah Dollah”.
Interesting from a manifesting perspective. Lacking in “pet me” appeal.

Germaniacs contributed: Shotzie, Schnapps, Gretchen, and Eva Braun. All possibly awkward when paired with her last name, “Schwartz”.

Dog haters represented with “Barkie”, “Shut the F Up”, and “Dinner”.

Over 100 names, but not a one of them right for “Little What’s Her Name”.

And there she was looking up at me, little “L.W.H.N.” She didn’t seem to care one bit. She was a happy girl, with a sunny disposition. “Sunny” would be great, but it sounded like a guy that owns a filling station. Similarly, “Rosie” could work. It was cheerful, simple, homespun, with a certain retro-charm. I ran it by her and she liked it immediately. It was settled.

Her full AKC name flowed from there. “Perfect Rose Of Carroll Gardens”. Harkening her perfection, and my beloved Brooklyn neighborhood all at the same time. Damn, I’m good!

And now I can actually say, “A Rose by any other name would NOT smell as sweet." Like “Shotzie” would have sucked.

1 comment:

  1. She looks more like a Paris Rose to me as in The "Paris Rose Of Carroll Gardens" after all "every Rose has it's thorns", as in any Carroll Garden and everyone whom has had a puppy know's best their unconditional LOVE and character flaws....chewing, etc...
    Sorry to say...your choice is close to my name buts its certainly not as perfectly appropriate as the "Paris Rose of Carroll Gardens"
    I am totally sorry I missed your “Name this puppy and I’ll buy you a beer.” Post on CL....