Monday, August 23, 2010


I’ve noticed that “Douchebag” is back in vogue.

Translation: “Dickhead”, “Jerk”, or “Miscreant”. People occasionally still use “Dickhead.” “Jerk” somehow under-delivers. “Miscreant” hardly rolls off the tongue, plus most of the bridge and tunnel types that are cutting you off on the BQE while texting on their “smart phones” would hardly know it’s meaning; plus it lacks the delicious mouth-feel of “douchebag,” or the truncated, perhaps even more pleasurable to the tongue, “DOUCHE!!” Say it three times, “douche,” “Douche,” “DOUCHE!!!” See what I mean. Really languish in the “ooosh.” I’d be hard-pressed to find a more pleasurable sensation above the waist.

How do phrases come back into popular vernacular? Or “evolve” as such. What inspires the evolution of “Cool,” to “Rad,” to “Awesome,” to “Killer!,” to “It KILLS.” How you say it eclipses it's actual meaning. Saying “hip” speaks volumes that you ain’t.

In the case of “douchebag” it seems counterintuitive as actual douche bags, (bags for douching) no longer exists, at least I haven’t seen them, and I certainly haven’t heard of their use in decades. I remember some big rubber bag with a hose in my mother’s bottom drawer back in the day. Later it was replaced by products such as “Summer’s Eve”. Then there’s the never goes out of fashion bidet; the douche for women of means. But the experts say that douching is unnecessary, a little soap and water does the trick. Douche bags have gone the way of girdles, are half life in landfills, yet douchebags are popping up on turnpikes, cheap bars, and grocery store lines everywhere. Go figure. I mean, WTF!!


  1. Joao's first word in English. So adorable.

  2. Baby's first word. hahahaaa....

  3. Douche bags are still in use in the gay community to prevent nasty surprises during sex. Now how would I know that?

  4. Ahhh, you learn something new every day! Hope you avoid all nasty surprises in the course of your days, Cassandra - in sex, and otherwise...