THE WIDOWER

There's a man in my building, his wife had suffered from MS long before her untimely death a couple of years ago. She was a real cool woman, funny, ironic, really open about her "situation" and life in general. They had two kids, the girl in high school - an incredibly talented singer, super smart, a "big girl", spent a lot of time in therapists' offices. The son who was in college was a gifted athlete who was considering playing pro baseball, he, too had his own demons which may or may not have been fast-tracked due to his mother's illness or the fact that he broke his arm a week before training season. Anyway, this man who lost his wife - he was frumpy, shy, introverted and gentle. I felt so sorry for him and I thought perhaps I should invite him to the movies or something, just to get him out - I knew he dearly loved his wife. So one day I engaged him in the elevator and asked him how he was doing. He said he was doing okay, that he had started dating but he wasn't looking for anything serious. I guess he immediately started dating a close family friend and it was going well but he had "cut her loose" because there were "so many options". I guess a lot of women wanted to "take him to the movies" - and not in the innocent way I had considered. Cut to a couple years later - he's hot n heavy with a woman in the building who wears a lot of leopard print - I see them dining in the window in a few of a local eateries. His kids - I haven't seen either of then in the building for over a year. Today I passed him on the street on my way home from a walk in the 'hood - he was wearing a Burberry jacket, dad-jeans replaced by something less ill-fitting (he had dropped quite a few pounds), aviators hid his eyes although the sun was sinking fast into the Fall sky - yet, I could feel that horny gaze of a 50-something feeling seventeen. Perhaps it was his pursed lips or the way he insisted on getting my attention on a day I wanted to remain invisible. This, his new life, seems awkward - because he's still a huge dork behind those Foster Grants. I have to give him credit, though - still, I wonder if in those quiet moments he ever thinks of his wife, her wit, her courage, her fabulosity, and remembers their life fondly.