THE MOST DISARMING MAN

A male friend sent me an address to an erotic literature site, with a link to a piece about a young girl’s foray into lesbianism. Once I started reading, I was completely taken aback. This was a story written by a woman, for women; the sex in it was very compelling and unexpected, and expressed from a gentle yet strong female point of view. It was wrapped in a lot of story involving mystery, anticipation, with a strong element of the straight/gay female dynamic. Yet this dark skinned virile male found it completely, well, the phrase he used was, “turns me inside out”. That phrase itself, the words he accessed in his mind to express his aroused state I found to be completely erotic. “Turns me inside out” is almost a metaphor for female genitalia, as though he was experiencing the story as a woman, like he was IN the story, not objectifying, or luridly experiencing it as a voyeur.

When he first sent me the link, I was sure he was just another male with the “oo, two chicks” fantasy. The kind depicted in off the shelf porn, shot by men, for men. But this man, in all his Italian heritage, his playful flirtations with women, is for my money, one of the hottest men I have ever encountered and for none of his surface charms. Because here’s the thing: this man has the unique ability to feel the complete spectrum of the male/female sexual experience. I have no doubt that he brings it in a strong dominant way in the bedroom, but there’s this other state: his more internal, tender relationship with the sexual experience, and I am disarmed at how deeply powerfully male that feels to me.